Let it go
Everybody who has seen the movie Frozen is familiar with the song “Let it go“. A world where you don’t show others who you are and what you can doesn’t sound perfect, but in reality this might happen more often than you can think of.
When is the last time you’ve concealed that you didn’t feel well, that you showed others everything is ok, while deep in your heart you don’t feel happy? When is the last time you didn’t show your feelings or didn’t say what you really thought of somebody else? When was the last time you’ve told your manager that the project was all under control, but in fact you couldn’t sleep of all the things that still had to be done?
Sounds familiar? You can ask yourself why you didn’t want to show the original you in these types of situations. Is it because you want to be seen as a strong person, is it because of anxiety for the consequences when showing your weaknesses or is it because of certain politics within the company that makes you not being able to show and express yourself? One thing is for sure: acting not like yourself doesn’t give a good feeling.
Brené Browns refers to the power of vulnerability where she said: ‘we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.’ She preaches to show yourself as who you are and what you can, by having the courage to be imperfect.
A Dutch book about letting go is putting letting go into perspective with all the things we have to do from others, but also from ourselves. We have to enjoy great holidays, the good life, going to clubs with friends and the same time have to work on a great career, a good work-life-balance, be a perfect husband or wife. You can question yourself who is giving you these obligations and who is the one who can change this.
Who is the one who can say I might not be the best husband or wife, but I do my best and this is who I am? Who is the one responsible for a good work-life-balance, to discuss it with your manager when changes are needed? Who is the one who can tell friends not to join them for a party because you are tired? Exactly, it’s you!
Only by showing who you really are and what you can do, you can influence things that lead to an environment where you can be yourself. Cultures can be changed if people do show themselves, what they think and show what they can do. However, people are different, might disagree or delaying changes. Therefore: change what you can’t accept and accept what you can’t change.